Wednesday, December 28, 2011

christmas love

Alyssa and I take pictures with this creepy nutcracker every Christmas.

Me, my mom, and my cousin. 
the greatest girls

Things got wild with some Christina Aguilera karaoke
 and my cousin Chris played Beatles song on the guitar.
It was all very magical

Sunday, October 23, 2011

carving pumpkin

Step 1. Draw a circle around the pumpkin stem and cut out a hole.
Step 2. Get your hands dirty and gut the pumpkin! 
It's slimy, and it took me forever. 
If you want save your seeds to roast later!
Here's all my pumpkin's guts.

Step 3. Find a pattern on the internet of what you want to carve into your pumpkin.
I chose Yoda, because I love Yoda.
Print it out, cut around the pattern and tape it to your pumpkin.
Step 4. trace the pattern onto the pumpkin by poking holes on the outline
Step 5. Once you have traced the whole pattern, remove the paper and rub flour onto the holes you have created.
This allows you to see your markings better.
 Step 6. Carve away!!! Take your time and start small.
I messed up on his nose, because I took out too big of a chunk.
Step 7. Buy a battery operated light to put inside your pumpkin!

Saturday, October 22, 2011

indian girl

I was looking at my clothes, and I have the perfect costume to be an Indian.
My cousin made the headdress and wore it last year for Halloween.
My little friend Adriana got me the necklace years ago for my birthday.
It always reminded me of Pocahontas.
And my friend Aubs gave me all of her clothes when she went in the Navy, this dress included.
The moccasins are mine.
I don't know. Should I be an Indian?
Because I also have this cool butterfly mask, and I kind of wanted to be a butterfly.
And I could do some crazy butterfly makeup. 

forest girl

i went exploring in this reserve place. the trees had this long, light green moss growing from them. it looked like really beautiful hair, like a lady gaga wig or something. it gave the forest a very spooky feel.

Monday, September 19, 2011

I miss my dog a lot. It's hard being somewhere that's kind of far away from the people and things you love the most. I have a hard time making friends, but also, I already have some really great friends. They leave some really big shoes to fill. Maybe I'm just not really looking.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Source: via Tara on Pinterest

I am spending this Saturday reading Frankenstein for my English class and practicing piano. I am doing terribly in piano. Frankenstein is such a sad book. I read it once before in high school. I feel terrible for Victor. Poor guy.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011


im learning piano. i really love this song. samson and delilah was one of my favorite bible stories

Sunday, August 21, 2011

suzie sells seashells by the seashore

This is where I live now.

"Joyas Voladoras"- Brian Doyle

Consider the hummingbird for a long moment. A hummingbird's heart beats ten times a second. A hummingbird's heart is the size of a pencil eraser. A hummingbird's heart is a lot of the hummingbird. Joyas voladoras, flying jewels, the first white explorers in the Americas called them, and the white men had never seen such creatures, for hummingbirds came into the world only in the Americas, nowhere else in the universe, more than three hundred species of them whirring and zooming and nectaring in hummer time zones nine times removed from ours, their hearts hammering faster than we could clearly hear if we pressed our elephantine ears to their infinitesimal chests.

Each one visits a thousand flowers a day. They can dive at sixty miles an hour. They can fly backwards. They can fly more than five hundred miles without pausing to rest. But when they rest they come close to death: on frigid nights, or when they are starving, they retreat into torpor, their metabolic rate slowing to a fifteenth of their normal sleep rate, their hearts sludging nearly to a halt, barely beating, and if they are not soon warmed, if they do not soon find that which is sweet, their hearts grow cold, and they cease to be. Consider for a moment those hummingbirds who did not open their eyes again today, this very day, in the Americas: bearded helmetcrests and booted racket-tails, violet-tailed sylphs and violet-capped woodnymphs, crimson topazes and purple-crowned fairies, red-tailed comets and amethyst woodstars, rainbow-bearded thornbills and glittering-bellied emeralds, velvet-purple coronets and golden-bellied star-frontlets, fiery-tailed awlbills and Andean hillstars, spatuletails and pufflegs, each the most amazing thing you have never seen, each thunderous wild heart the size of an infant's fingernail, each mad heart silent, a brilliant music stilled.

Hummingbirds, like all flying birds but more so, have incredible enormous immense ferocious metabolisms. To drive those metabolisms they have race-car hearts that eat oxygen at an eye-popping rate. Their hearts are built of thinner, leaner fibers than ours. Their arteries are stiffer and more taut. They have more mitochondria in their heart muscles -- anything to gulp more oxygen. Their hearts are stripped to the skin for the war against gravity and inertia, the mad search for food, the insane idea of flight. The price of their ambition is a life closer to death; they suffer heart attacks and aneurysms and ruptures more than any other living creature. It's expensive to fly. You burn out. You fry the machine. You melt the engine. Every creature on earth has approximately two billion heartbeats to spend in a lifetime. You can spend them slowly, like a tortoise, and live to be two hundred years old, or you can spend them fast, like a hummingbird, and live to be two years old.

The biggest heart in the world is inside the blue whale. It weighs more than seven tons. It's as big as a room. It is a room, with four chambers. A child could walk around in it, head high, bending only to step through the valves. The valves are as big as the swinging doors in a saloon. This house of a heart drives a creature a hundred feet long. When this creature is born it is twenty feet long and weighs four tons. It is waaaaay bigger than your car. It drinks a hundred gallons of milk from its mama every day and gains two hundred pounds a day and when it is seven or eight years old it endures an unimaginable puberty and then it essentially disappears from human ken, for next to nothing is known of the mating habits, travel patterns, diet, social life, language, social structure, diseases, spirituality, wars, stories, despairs, and arts of the blue whale. There are perhaps ten thousand blue whales in the world, living in every ocean on earth, and of the largest mammal who ever lived we know nearly nothing. But we know this: the animals with the largest hearts in the world generally travel in pairs, and their penetrating moaning cries, their piercing yearning tongue, can be heard underwater for miles and miles.

Mammals and birds have hearts with four chambers. Reptiles and turtles have hearts with three chambers. Fish have hearts with two chambers. Insects and mollusks have hearts with one chamber. Worms have hearts with one chamber, although they may have as many as eleven single-chambered hearts. Unicellular bacteria have no hearts at all; but even they have fluid eternally in motion, washing from one side of the cell to the other, swirling and whirling. No living being is without interior liquid motion. We all churn inside.

So much held in a heart in a lifetime. So much held in a heart in a day, an hour, a moment. We are utterly open with no one, in the end -- not mother and father, not wife or husband, not lover, not child, not friend. We open windows to each but we live alone in the house of the heart. Perhaps we must. Perhaps we could not bear to be so naked, for fear of a constantly harrowed heart. When young we think there will come one person who will savor and sustain us always; when we are older we know this is the dream of a child, that all hearts finally are bruised and scarred, scored and torn, repaired by time and will, patched by force of character, yet fragile and rickety forevermore, no matter how ferocious the defense and how many bricks you bring to the wall. You can brick up your heart as stout and tight and hard and cold and impregnable as you possibly can and down it comes in an instant, felled by a woman's second glance, a child's apple breath, the shatter of glass in the road, the words I have something to tell you, a cat with a broken spine dragging itself into the forest to die, the brush of your mother's papery ancient hand in a thicket of your hair, the memory of your father's voice early in the morning echoing from the kitchen where he is making pancakes for his children.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

beet it

"Rage, rage against the dying of the light." - Dylan Thomas

Friday, July 29, 2011

he offered me the universe

the ocean in april

I love the ocean.
It's amazing how big it is and how much life it holds underneath it.
These pictures are from April.
My cousin is backpacking in the wilderness, and when I miss her I look at our old photos.
She taught me how to make enchiladas.
At the beach there were little makeshift tipis.
I wish I could live in one. My favorite movie as a kid was Pocahontas.
I think an alien really did write on that rock.
And the coy fish are tattooed on my cousin's wrist.
They're my favorite tattoo of hers.
I hope you have a beautiful weekend.
Whoever "you" are.
Cowboys and Aliens comes out!!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Tuesday, July 19, 2011


I love the desert and all the good people who inhabit it.

Monday, July 18, 2011


My best friend is leaving to live and farm and be free.
She is sunshine, and I am going to miss her.
She is one of the most beautiful people on the planet, and her heart is made of gold.
Hopefully if you live in Hawaii you will meet her.
She's an angel.